Musings!

"One of the believers" - DNA story

2011-11-04T02:51:00.000+05:30

Blessed are those who believe before there was any evidence.
I am in the Innovation in Science and Engineering Class and Watching the Life Story (The Race for the Double Helix).
On a side note, miss dreaming about Paris. Ah, how I wish to go see Paris!
(Rosalind Franklin was a Parisian!)

Going to Oregon

2011-11-04T01:58:00.000+05:30

Well, yes. I will be moving to Oregon, U.S in a few months. Leaving Pittsburgh. I am super happy to be leaving this city, but at the same time, it makes me sad to think about a life where I am not exposed to a constant source of inspiration all day, all the time. In that course, I was looking for some universities out there. But let's see. I would do almost anything to study at Reed College, but well...there are many problems. Its a residential program. It is a undergrad program. (Not that I have a problem pursuing another undergrad degree.) I really really want a liberal art or anthropology degree. I am trying to decide. Well, let me rephrase. I really don't need a degree. I just want to be learn the discipline and be around the people. Okay, off to a class. I'll get back to you on all the things I want to learn. :)

Okay, I am back this time (for real)

2011-11-04T01:46:00.002+05:30

I know I made some promises about writing a blog post everyday. That obviously didn't happen. But I am back this time, for good. Especially because I have so much to say and so many wonderful things that I get to do and see in the most awesomest place in the world, that I am at. So, this time around, I don't have any shortage of stuff to write about...it is just the lack of time. But man, I want to remember every second of this experience and not let go of it. Forever. So yes. Expect to hear a lot from me. There is a lot of catch up on. I am almost a completely different person. Ummm, well...may be not. I'll let you be the judge of that.

Start of the end of the end.

2010-02-19T01:57:00.002+05:30

I am back. And I won't say anything more.

I've decided to write something new each day, which means I would need to do something new each day..
Seems like a lofty goal ?
I think I would need such dramatic steps to revive what's left of me.
I guess I am a bit rusty on the writing.
At this moment, I am rusty on a lot of things.
Here's hoping to change that.
With all the love in the world..<3
Signing off..Peace out.

Cloud watching!

2009-10-05T02:29:00.004+05:30

I am a cloud watcher. I have always been. I love looking at the clouds drift by - the dark gloomy ones and the happy milky white ones. Tonight, particularly, the skies are incredible. Sky is so low, that I feel I can enwrap it in my hands.
The moon is shining bright, with an almost silver sheen. The clouds are drifting by- so fast, that gazing at them, makes me lose a sense of the current and the now.
Everytime, the clouds wash over the glistening moon, there is a brilliant halo all around it. The sky is a potpourri of colors, ranging from the deepest black, blues to deep purples to bright orange hues. Wow. I wish I could cloud-watch forever! And wishfully, in a vast open land, where skies and the land almost merge into one. :)
Speaking of which, I have been recently bit by gardening bug. I want to have fresh produce and herbs at my disposal. So, I went ahead and bought seeds worth an amount of money, that could positively freak my parents out. I am waiting for the package to arrive. P.S. I have no clue about gardening or sowing seeds. Lets see, how this turns out. I am quite excited about it. :) :)

I dont mean to brag, but honestly....I am a genious!!

2009-10-04T00:17:00.004+05:30

:)
Yes, I think I am. And I might be blessed with major Nigella potential.
It is middle of the night and I was hungry. So, I made risotto.
These are the measurements of one portion, made with the rice left over.. And it is super quick, ready in flat 10 minutes.
Here is the recipie:
Crush 3 garlic pods, few pepper corns [about 10] and a bit of nutmeg [very very little] together in a mortar and pestle. In a pan, take a bit of olive oil, about a tea spoon. Add a bay leaf, a pinch of dried oregano, dried basil and a hint of dried rosemary. Add the pepper and garlic mixture, one square inch of cheese, and some grated parmesan. Add about a cup of milk, 2 spoons of flour, and let it cook till the flour loses raw smell. Add cooked rice, Switch off the heat in 2 minutes. Add salt as needed. Add fresh basil and voila!!!

The only problem is I am not as much an eating person as a cooking person. I wish my sister were here !!

Kyaa swaad hai zindagi kaa !!

2009-09-27T01:44:00.003+05:30

My sister asked me to see the new Cadbury Diwali ad. This one..

And these ads came to my mind, I wont say a word, I'll let these incredible ads speak for themselves.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

This friday night !!

2009-07-31T23:15:00.003+05:30

I came home elated, after what seemed a tortuous and unending week, I was done with all the work. I was able to look people squarely in the eye and say - "there is nothing else I need to do". And I listened to Barrack Obama speak while I came back from work, already high on exciting thoughts about work.
Mom said,looking at me almost piercingly "Deepthi, are you writing your essays?". I smiled. Told her, this was the weekend. And that I have been very busy at work.
She continued, "Look at you, you are so different. Look at everyone else around you. They listen to their parents. They come home on time. They get married and dress so well. And then, look at you. We are ashamed to go out to any function. Tired of answering people's questions about your marriage." 'Really!!!!! - I thought. Then I thought how bad it is to face the peer pressure from everyone of my friends and then again this pressure from parents.' Somehow, I sort of did understand, they have peer pressure, even in fifties. And I always knew in the back of my head, this was coming.
Not that she isnt an awesome person. Honestly, she is.
I could not stop looking at her today morning - when we both left for work together. In thoroughly starched stiff white and black saree, ever so gracefully with a big red bindi - she was beautiful. She is smart. And hard working. And truly inspiring, in the way she fought back what ever life threw at her.
The conversation continued - "Dad's friends son, went to do his MBA and his dad is bearing the brunt of it. He had to sell off his only property to work on the loans. They are not even as well off as we are. Then you would never return back, because of the loan. And look at you - You are not excercising. Not going to the gym, and look at your face - the innocence is all lost, the marks on your face - You dont even take care of yourself."
I agree. Guilty as charged. I do wish I excercised. I do wish I could fit into any dress I wanted to. But the fact is - I wish more I got into a good university. I wish more I do good at my career. And also wish I do what I am meant to be doing.
And again - I also know what everyone says - "now is the right time".
But with a heavily demanding job, working on essays or atleast even to make a school selection -I honestly cant afford to be tired because of the work out.
Then she adds, "Who would ask you all this. I am your mother. Only I would. I love you."
She also gave me a dress she bought for me - a beautiful pink and green dress, which a absolutely loved. Although 2 sizes too big [Now you know, how huge she thinks I am.]
And ofcourse, added a remark, when I asked why the gift - "So that you listen to me".
Didn't I tell you she was an awesome person already ? :)

Yep, random ramblings :D

2009-07-28T00:27:00.004+05:30

See, here is the deal. I have always claimed to be independant and sure that I would never want to be "rescued" by a prince charming and have him sweep me off my feet.
Honest. And I am certain, that is still not what I want.
Despite the tough exterior, ambitious and driven personality - ohh believe me, that is very much me. There is a side. Which - lets say, only some know.
It is scary to let go. To show the vulnerable side many a time. It is a struggle - more often than not. To be assured, that this would be treated with respect.
But at the end of the day, the girl needs a place and person to be a girl with. Dumb and stupid, naughty and funny.
And yet again, these women, these girls, friends of mine - all around me are settling into the quiter calmer ways of life. Ohh, this is no bug that has bitten.
And yes, good luck to them.
It is just that, it is indeed scary to take the leap. Boy!! Not that it means anything but you know.
I mean look at the other side, you are married, then sooner or later, have a baby... care for the baby. Plan for him, see him grow up... Ohh God.
No time for yourself, no time to read the books, push an aggressive career ahead, or may be I am not getting it right.
Let me tell you, with my recent experience, babies - they are not easy.
Lol. I am going way beyond myself here. But well, truth has to be spoken.
I just wish I figured out this flow. But yet again, it is fine. Time will tell. I suppose. And for everyone else involved, including my parents [lol], I hope. :)

Project Runway!!!

2009-07-27T23:44:00.003+05:30

After yet another, politically speaking, day of dealing with questionable intentions, and weird and twisted thought processes, here I am. At the end of the day! At least in one time zone. :)
And guess what ?
i saw the season 4 finale of Project Runway on TV. And Victoria Beckham was the judge.
Boy Oh Boy!!!!! Each of the dress by each of them was divine. Honest!
If I ever had the money, [I do hope I have someday..sigh sigh], I would buy all of them. Wishful thinking :)
I also wish I could have seen it with my sister.
And do you know, Christian is a month elder to me.
I have to agree, both Romi and Jillian made brilliant outfits. Gosh.
If I could honestly wish for anything now, I would definitely wish for a mix of Romi's craftsmanship and Christian flair. Wow. And here I am, struggling to even sew in a straight line. But hey, it is not like I can’t appreciate beauty.

What's the point in it ?

2009-07-24T21:43:00.003+05:30

What if I squeeze myself into any shape
And I still don't fit?
What if I bend myself so much that I break
And I can't mend it?
What if I burn so bright that the fire goes out
And I can't stay lit?
What's the point in it?
I could get good at crying crocodile tears
Just to get along
I could carry on telling you wanna hear
'til my voice is gone
But if I finally get to the place that I think is home
And I don't belong
What's the point in it?
Where's the benefit?
When I'm gaining all but I'm losing it

It's not worth having
If it's too much to hold
You can dig so deep
That you're left with a hole
Thirsty in a desert with a bag full of gold
Don't wanna end up like pirate bones
What I thought was precious was just a pile o' stones
I might have the treasure but I'd be lying alone
Just a pile of pirate bones
If I forfeit my soul it ain't worth having
If it's something I stole it ain't worth having

What if I stake everything I am on a dream
And it's counterfeit?
If I reach the end that justifies the means
Could I live with it?
And if it's true that having too much of any good thing
Could only make me sick
What's the point in it
Where's the benefit
When I'm gaining all but I'm losing it
Oh, oh

It's not wroth that much to me
If losing out is what it means
To swim in shallow victory
Is empty, empty
It's just not worth the price
It's only a fools paradise
If it's draining every drop of life 'til I'm dry like pirate bones

Long journey

2009-07-06T23:01:00.002+05:30

These days it has been extremely frustrating to drive to and from work each day. Especially thinking about an hour and a half of pure unproductivity, I loathed it. It earlier was alleviated only by the fact that I had some nice music to listen to. Not that I dont have it now, but it was getting boring. And I just couldnt find any alternatives.
Jumping to the point, I am listening to audio books now. Just finished Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook - 4 times. Man, was it awesome or what. I just couldnt stop laughing. I mean, honestly, what Dogbert taught me ;-) in 1.5 hours, I spent the last 2 years of my life understanding and fighting. Dumb me. Or should I say, employee me ;-P
Now, I moved on to yet another incredible book today - Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Wow. I mean, how did any relationship in this world survive so far without this knowledge ? Believe me, it is true. And after all that, it all seems so obvious. Most of it. I can validate that.
Next in line are a few other Scott Adam books, and then A brief history of time. You would have expected me to have already finished it. Somehow, I didnt :(

But thanks to all this new information, this long tiring journey each day seems less depressing. Yes, it used to be enjoyable - I suppose I even had a post on it, but it just got tiresome. And I hope not anymore :-)

Made the yummiest healthy food!

2009-06-05T22:03:00.003+05:30

Man, I am incredibly proud of what I cooked.
Healthy, delicious and yummmmm...
Taking inspiration from my Goddess, the domestic Goddess herself - Nigella Lawson - this is what I made!
Peas Soup (Pooh wanted me to make it)
Boil a little more than handful of peas, half an onion one bay leaf.
Once they are cooked, and onion turns transparent - puree them - Nigella says add handful of Parmesan, since I am making for a healthier version I just let it be.
Then serve with garlic herb Italian seasoning. Yummm !!!!!!!!!
Semolina Pulav:
This one was a hit! And takes less than 10 mins!!
Man, Nigella would be proud of me.
Coming to the recipie, just boil potatoes, peas and carrots - tons of veggies.
Boil Semolina for 4 mins. Drain and pour over cold water - to stop it from cooking.
Chop up one onion. Microwave 3 dried mirchi in water for 3 mins. Make a paste of 5 garlic cloves, 1/2 inch ginger and the boiled mirchi.
Get some oil in the pan - fry the paste, very well. Add the onions and put in 3 slit green mirchi. Once they are done, add the semolina. Mix it and finally add the veggies. Add some coriander, and some lemon juice and mix it in. Ready to serve!!!!
Banana Smoothie:
Put in 2 bananas, some low fat milk - if you like, 2 spoons of sugar, and little good quality vanilla. may be scoop in some ice cream .... Divine!!!!

I was driving to work today, when it dawned upon me.." I have been driving on the same road each morning over the last 2 years!! " Am I in the loop ?

2009-06-04T01:19:00.003+05:30

This was my status message today. I thought it was fairly straight forword. Apparantly not!
Exactly proving the point of my last status message..
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation." - quoting Thoreau.
[He never made any sense back in school. ;-P ]

Let me try to decode what I meant...
Most men gladly pass their lives, not realizing this viscous circle exists.
This understanding of mine, only bolstered by the very fact that everyone but very few came back to me asking what the loop meant.
You grow complacent, may be scared...and never make a life's choice, just let the time decide where it leads you...or not lead you. Then you resign to the notion what could you be, and then settle with what you are.. and what you are "supposed" to be.

And if you ask me, there are no short cuts, there are no chances, there is no luck. If there is anything, there is only talent and passion.
Destiny is what you make of it.

Among who did understand what I meant, some had funny interpretations, and called it an SDLC.. while some called it a whirlpool. Any which ways, it evoked a lot of interpretations and controversies.

The bottom line, the majority of lot, the lucky lot never realize it exists and are happy.. God bless their lucky souls.
Then there are some, who do something about it.
And then, here I am... with all this understanding, and with a whole lot of burden of demystifying what my life means, and what could it possibly mean, and what should it possibly mean...
Just so my grave stone reads - "She mattered!"

I wish you could hear me say...

2009-02-13T11:46:00.005+05:30

I can see it these days, I am such a young girl.
Even though I pretentiously claim to know how it goes on!
I am so naive in mind that I have never seen the world.
I have never seen any other side to it.

Now, I dont know if I have the courage to see it alone.
Or, if I want to see it at all.

I dont want to go through a life wondering if I am truly loved.
I dont want to go through a life wondering if I could be more.
I dont want to ever look back and wish I could change the past.

I dont have a story to tell. Or a history to look back to.
But I do hope there is a story worth telling.
I just wish at the end, I would know I lived.
Making life's wishes on this special day!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!
Here is to Love, Life, Friends and everything beyond!!

Craving for a little maverick!!

2009-01-26T23:02:00.002+05:30

To start with lemme tell you, I love my new hair cut...much delayed hair make-over . It is now official, a good hair cut is one of the most important things for human[well, atleast my] survival. :D
I have 2 kinds of things about the future, that make me restless and you know, have cold feet [Guess what, I have cold hands too].
The thing is I was free [atleast, I thought I was] in the evening because I dint have anything major to do. After I cleaned my room [Mom and I had a major fight over this, so I had to clean :( ], I was inspired to draw. More because, I found my skectching book under a pile of clothes on my bed. I was trying to find an inspiration (a picture of a lady) and I found the golden issue of Femina that I once got my mom.
And I totally got side tracked, and happened to gloss over the queries and problems section - all sorts [Waaaaaaaaa....WTH]. All true and sometimes exaggerated to add the drama, but does not make it any less scary.
Oh dear God, I am just not ready yet. To be that grown-up matured woman.
"Why?? God, Why?? ... Why do I have to grow up".
And from that moment on, everything touchy feely repelled me. Even drawing. So, I tried to do a ton of things, but anything that has got to do with emotions, I was having cold hands.
And I obviously turned my attention to another worry of my life, that I am more or less comfortable about worrying - the career. [Coz more or less, it will be my doing - good or bad].
You might think, why worry now at all? Well, I was in the worrying mood :D
And a colleague gave me a book called "Maverick" and I started it earlier, but I guess it wasnt the right time. Now, I found it on the shelf and picked it up.
Man, I just dont feel like putting it away. I have to, I guess. Because, I promised my boss, I would make a presentation, with no tangible purpose for a high drama meeting. :( And I totally blanked out about it in the evening. Sigh.
But I promise to do more wiki-ing and write a complete post on it.
And yes, I did squeeze in time for this post :D

Updates for this long glorious weekend:
1. I have met almost all my commitments - personal, professional [barring this presentation], this weekend. What a relief!!
2. A different sad story, my hotmail does not open, my outlook does not open [my N/W password expired]. And I dint make it to talk to anyone.. :( So, lots of catching up to do tomorrow.
3. And, lastly..it is my Dad's Bday today!!!!!! Man, everyone's growing up!!

Susceptible and vulnerable!

2009-01-19T00:39:00.002+05:30

Could someone hold my hand through this, please?
This is what has happened since evening....
A discourse I was surprised and a call and I was happy, a blog post comment and I was thoroughly sad, another call and I was esctatic, and then a different call and I was confused...all - each before I could clearly digest what just happened.
So, now - even a simple sentence is messing with my head...Not really sure...Just very susceptible, thats all...!!

Did you see the new Bru Ad??

2009-01-13T21:44:00.008+05:30

I just saw the new Bru Coffee Ad. It was just so cute. Adorably cute.
So, the wife gives the guy a cup of Bru coffee, and she says she was tired because she had to come home walking. He sips the coffee, his mood changes and presses her foot that was on the chair next to him, sweetly. And she smiles coyly, and puts the other foot up for him to press. And they both smile. Aww.
I know, I royally suck at describing the ad, and I am sure people who have seen it hate me now. But, needless to say, it was nice.
Thats emotional marketing, and I am sucker for all things nice!
When we were kids, and we would visit the market, my dad would ask us to put on 2 shoes, one of the "consumer" the company wants you to be, and the other the intelligent consumer. He reasons that if we are too critical, we could actually miss out on deals which are actually good. Anyways, the point is he always liked the sinful pleasure of giving into emotional marketing. Although usually, he would reason every decission with a comprehensive competitive analysis and give the management theories behind each product on the shelf. [Even when we had to pick a tooth paste. ]
Those were the times, it was so much fun! Again the point is, being my dad's darling that I am, I would may be buy Bru the next time I am in a store :D

Anyways, speaking of nice, give this post a read!
http://princessriz.blogspot.com/2008/07/starry-starry-night.html
It is so utterly nice!! I especially like the way, it alluringly trudges the path between reality and a dream.

Speaking of more things nice, I happened to talk to one of my very good friend visiting Paris. And here is one of the pictures that was taken..which I tweaked a little! And yes, it is LaVoure in the background !!! Sigh..Sigh!!

Das Leben ist schön. Ich liebe mein Leben!!! :D [Inspired from the post in the link I posted :D ]

Election Campaign going Hi-tech!!

2009-01-05T23:32:00.002+05:30

Before I say anything, I am almost apolitcal only that I love the leadership provided by certain people. I got a message from Nara Chandra Babu Naidu apparantly, wishing me - "Deepthi" a happy new year :D

Audrey...

2008-12-21T02:16:00.002+05:30

When you are sad and need to cheer, google "Audrey Hepburn" for images. I promise, you wont regret.
http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&q=audrey+hepburn&btnG=Search+Images
Hepbern site on myspace: http://www.myspace.com/hepburntribute
I am planning to see Sabrina (1954) soon.
Look at her, in all her graciousness and beauty...
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=124598863

My day :)

2008-12-18T00:30:00.004+05:30

I went to the book store as I told earlier to find this book, and I could not find it. :(
But they said they would get it for me soon.
But it was such a treat. If I had all the time in the world, I would read every book there. I have grown to be a person who loves the rat race. And I am relentless. And in the course of time, patience as a virtue has disappeared totally. So, I am not some who would experiment with drama, either fiction or non fiction, but I think I would like to go back and read a few books. Many Orange prize winners.
Then, I went through Raghu Rai's India: Reflections in Colour which covers the India of the everyday. It was very neatly done. And he is a Padma Shri, I understand.
And I dont know why, every time I go to that store, little girls play with me. The last time, there was this 3 year old, who would run to me where ever her mom would leave her. And finally me and her mom had a laugh and came out of the store together. Today, this other girl, wouldnt just stop smiling and waving at me. Awwwww. I know.
And I went to pick up this corporate drama of a book, and ended up buying classics. I bought 4 books, 6 technically speaking.
Paulo Cohelo's Brida, have been hearing a lot about it, so picked it up. But again, being an impatient person that I am, it just could not grip me today.
That is a different long story. [Do you think, I wouldnt write about it, no way......to follow below :D]
Then, I got this Jane Austen special editions, which means, I have Mansfield Park, Northanger Abbey, Persuasion and Sense and Sensibility. :) Unabridged editions.
And finally "A year in High heels". Not a story, but a collection of factoids for each day of the year. Although it sounds boring, it seems really nice. And Vogue's review was "Must have guide to year round fabulousness". I think I will keep it in my car and start it new year :)

So, coming back to the story, today was crazy at work. For many reasons, I cant talk about it. But, the end result was many friends needed me. I am such a person, with deep pink streaks of empathy. FYI: The pink and blue streaks is Ronna Lichtenberg's theory.
Anyways, I am the go to girl, when you need reaffirmation in situations and life. And many indeed were talking to me. Things started getting wierd early in the morning and I went on a walk or a coffee almost 4 times. Essentially, my breakfast was muffin and coffee. Lunch was muffin and coffee. And evening snack was muffin and coffee. And in all the drama, I forgot I needed to eat. And I discovered this, when I was at home, at 10 in the night. And I craved for hot steaming food. So, I cooked and ate and I was dead sleepy. Thanks to wierd dreams, I am up, and have been listening to people's opinions of the ethics of Maytas deal. And just saw that Steve Jobs, wont be at Macworld this time :(
I almost forgot, I read Glamor and Vogue. :) :) Talk about a blast of a day!

Pitch like a girl!

2008-12-17T16:16:00.002+05:30

I came across a presentation from "Ronna Lichtenberg" and it was excellent.
Man, she is just so awesome. And apparantly she has done her degree from HBS. And I am defintely picking up her book today. I hope I get it in Hyderabad.
"Work would be great if it werent for people"

Around, about and finally here!

2008-12-16T00:38:00.004+05:30

I am what I am on youtube!

Moon River!!

2008-12-15T11:22:00.002+05:30

I am planning to order my prints. But look at her in this..
Her singing "Moon River" is such an image, so subtle and so vulnerable.
And Audrey standing in front of Tiffany's is such an iconic image.
Btw, my sister is here. And it is so complete and so much fun with her around. Talking about everything and anything.

Thousand views on my flickr :)

2008-12-13T21:40:00.001+05:30

http://www.flickr.com/photos/life-while-looking-at-poetry/

Party with the pretty girls dude :D

2008-12-12T23:58:00.003+05:30

Random title. This was Rajesh Kutrapalli in Big Bang Theory. I saw it in the evening and it has been ringing in my head forever.
But anyways, the official purpose of this post is to declare that I hate all my idiot friends,barring some with genuine problems, where they had to attend to a family member.
But all others with idiotic reasons, some logical reasons and some others who are just too far away. I hate you all. I am getting old, you know. And I wanted to dance.
The music was so damn good.
And I wanted to dance. :(
Now, I really want to party. With rining music and great DJ and good crowd. May be some time.
But this time, I just had none along with me :(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

I am taking my mom to the party :O

2008-12-12T17:53:00.002+05:30

So, the thing is I am taking my mom to a party where everyone else is coming with their spouses / partners / college friends etc. You get the vibe, dont you?
And I am taking my mom. I am not embarrased or anything, but hear me out..
I had a multiple fold reasoning for this...
Who knows where I will be next year?
My mom would have something to talk about with her friend and peer circle.
A good gesture would keep me safe, atleast for a few days :D
May be she'll learn about the other side of me, or not...may be she'll see the other part of life, or not..and then be supportive of other things.
Most of all, might keep her off from her new found hilarious albeit scary hobby [bharatmatrimony.com..yeah, you read it right. God knows, what has gotten into her]

And when I was thinking so much about taking her to a stupid party I hardly care about for a couple of hours, I felt so stupid. Damn it. Suddenly, I remebered all the times, she took me to school, picked me up and all the times, she used to drive us to all the innumerable classes she would enroll us in. All the times, she stood in long long queues for school admissions.

But it would be fun though, my mom meeting all the people I know and I wonder how she would react seeing them getting drunk and dropping onto the floor. Yes, thats what is going to happen. Anyways, it is going to be new for her, and I am hoping it wont turn into a disaster. [Like, she deciding to marry me off].

22 and loving it!!

2008-12-11T20:10:00.006+05:30

Yeah. As long as I am still 22[which is not for long, though :( ], lemme recount of what a blast this year has been. Not just because I have seen the highs, but because I have seen the lows.
Just read posts from last December,
http://dots-do-connect.blogspot.com/2007/12/being-twenty-something.html
http://dots-do-connect.blogspot.com/2007/12/birthday-blues.html
and I certainly, dont have the blues somehow. Yet. :)
But I can still relate to Being twenty something. And still thriving to be otherwise. :)
But as far this year goes, learnt a lot, lived a lot more.
And I am in love, more than ever. Ofcourse with myself, who else could it be??
I am Ok looking, if I am not an Ash. I dress well, though I am not Kate Hudson, or Rihanna :P
I am smart, doing extremely well at work, giving my peers and colleagues a run for their money. I am intelligent, I am hard working and driven. I am trying to make something out of myself, and pushing my limits. I have a great job, that would be a destination for many, but I started there. A great family. Absolutely lovely friends, and mind you, over the last one year, I went out almost every week. [Ohh, this wasnt me last year.]
Career and people - I am not the innocent and naive sweet person I used to be. But the important thing is I did not turn bitter.
I am nice, thoughtful and supportive. I have been there for everyone I know.
Though many days I have been sad, flustered, tired there have been many more days, where I was elated, happy and on top of the world.
I have grown as a person. But I know, I have a long way to go!
Off-late, I've been worried about things, that are so beyond my age. And I somewhere over the last couple of days realized, damn, I am just 22. I deserve nothing less, and nothing that is not right.
I am young, I have the world of opportunities, and a whole lot of life...
For now, I feel like I have it all, and have it good. I feel invincible!!
I sound like a megalomaniac, as commented by one of my friends, but, eh..who cares!!

I wish I could yell on top of my voice!!

2008-12-11T19:48:00.000+05:30

Look at my face!!!!

People read what I write, Oops!!

2008-12-10T02:01:00.001+05:30

Assumed that wasnt the case!! :D :D :D

Anti-reality!!

2008-12-10T01:01:00.003+05:30

Me and maddy recently discovered we were not realists.
I absolutely love Fanny Price now. May be coz I saw the movie[Mansfield Park] so many times. Slowly, Jane Austen's magic has gripped me too. I am also seeing BBC's adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. I love Emma, I have always loved Sense and Sensibility.
What ever happened to incredible romances!! And out of the world declarations of love!!
Should all the soap writers go back to reading Jane Austen? I think so..

Most memorable scenes from Mansfield Park:
Edmund Bertram: Surely you and I are beyond speaking when words are clearly not enough.
*********************************************************************************
Something I can relate to:
Fanny Price: I have no talent for certainty.
*********************************************************************************
My absolute favorite scene - just on the mushiness factor:
Fanny Price: A woman's poverty is even more contemptible than a man's.
Henry Crawford: Arguable. But it need not be your lot. You can live out your days in comfort... with me.
Fanny Price: I know.
Henry Crawford: You do?
Fanny Price: Yes.
Henry Crawford: Is that a yes?
Fanny Price: Yes.
Henry Crawford: Is that the yes I have heard a hundred times in my heart but never from you? Oh, Fanny Price... You will learn to love me. Say it again.
Fanny Price: Yes.
*********************************************************************************
Yes, second favorite scene:
Edmund Bertram: Fanny, I've loved you my whole life.
Fanny Price: I know, Edmund.
Edmund Bertram: No... I've loved you as a man loves a woman. As a hero loves a heroine. As I have never loved anyone.
*********************************************************************************
Look at her sharp tongue - 1:
Edmund Bertram: Oh, don't be an imbecile.
Fanny Price: Oh, but imbecility in women is a great enhancement to their personal charms. Edmund Bertram: Fanny, you're being irrational.
Fanny Price: Yet another adornment. I must be ravishing.
*********************************************************************************
Look at her sharp tongue - 2:
Fanny Price: Maria was married on Saturday. In all important preparations of mind she was complete, being prepared for matrimony by a hatred of home, by the misery of disappointed affection, and contempt of the man she was to marry. The bride was elegantly dressed and the two bridesmaids were duly inferior. Her mother stood with salts, expecting to be agitated, and her aunt tried to cry. Marriage is indeed a maneuvering business.

Dimensions

2008-12-04T01:31:00.004+05:30

These days generally had some blues. And today started much the same way.
But what a day it turned into. A lot of intelligent conversations happened and my brain started running. What a high it is for the brain to be challenged, in terms of arriving at new of dimensions to look at a problem. And add to that a lot of insight into people, problems, reactions and situations.
I also saw Karan Thappar, as and when I came back and switched on the TV. More intellligent talk. He was talking to Ahmed Rashid, Pakistani author, and what a fine man. Seeing both of them talk was definetely a treat. Dont take my word for it. Give this link a read. And then came in the second guest, editor in chief of Outlook, Vinod Mehta. Making some remarkablly intelligent talk.
Really loved the way I was stretched today with critical bent of mind. Editing the post to add this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWsmJIwe9Q4

:)

2008-12-01T22:50:00.002+05:30

I was sitting in the cafe, and this friend calls me up and asks me to come out. To show something....Mmmm. I go out and I see the cutest thing ever. Today, the moon was like Eid kaa chaand. Barely a thin curve. And right above it were 2 stars. Exactly like a smiley.
:)
Were the Gods smiling down upon me? I hope they are !!

Lipstick Jungle!

2008-12-01T14:57:00.005+05:30

Yea, these days posts on soaps are on the increase. What can I do, they are making such incredible soaps. And it becomes my duty onto the producers, directors, actors and anyone else involved. All the negative comments on Lipstick Jungle being an off shoot of sex and the city[which I was never a fan of, btw]...makes me sad. Come on, why compare. These in LJ are strong, successful business women unlike people in S&C, who totally gross me out. Just because it is New York city, and some member of the crew is the same, Lipstick jungle does not deserve this criticism. And also for other obvious reasons, ladies in Lipstick jungle dress a billion times better. I wonder who the designer is. No offense to Patricia Field, the outfits in the S&C are a little out there. I still love her work though. Especially Devil wears Prada, is a text book for incredible fashion. Back to the subject of these 2 soaps in question, I think there is absolutely no comparision. And also add to this the Cashmere Mafia, which was the rival to Lipstick Jungle, the clothes were good there too. But it was too by the book, but I defintely enjoyed them explicilty being out of Business School, unlike the ones in LJ. And working all those B-school connections. But on the subject of characters, no one is as relatable as Vic, Nico and Wendy.

And yes, I take my soaps veeeery seriously!

OTH

2008-11-30T09:47:00.002+05:30

I love so many songs from OTH soundtrack. I cant judge if it is the musician or the way the emotions were built up by the time the song was played.
Posting links of a few songs from my favorite episodes :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdB9AADgqao&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VO-tvW26Og&feature=related

Antidote

2008-11-29T05:20:00.002+05:30

Antidote to really wierd and messy emotional mix-ups, crappy stupid days is wierder emotional crap. So, here's to ten episodes of One Tree Hill Back to back.
It is 6AM, should I be stopping at ten episodes??

What a night it was!

2008-11-16T23:24:00.004+05:30

Ok. I screwed it up yet again, so lets try not to focus on that. And I really broke down, and for a person like me, that almost never happens. The intensity of the situation was such!
So, I went out on this volunteer gig and I was only half sold, but I would still want to give it a try. And mom was as always angry that I am being selfish. I wish she understood me for me. Anyways, those are moms, we cant may be have them any other way!
Ok. Ok. The good part comes now. So, it turns out, after coming out of that very very long volunteer meet, me and Maddy did not stop talking. About everything, but volunteering. About life, career, guys, marriage and a little (may be a whole lot) non sense. We talked, talked and talked, as I was driving and yes, I may have taken a wrong turn once or twice.
I wish I could be more candid, but all I can say is we stopped at life style. We picked a few trinkets. And we had a gooooooood round of window shopping. [I am on a no shop period. I intend to stick to it for a while].
"Ohh look at this, isnt this gorgeous.... Ohh my goddd...it is heavenly... ohh my..." were most of what we did for an hour. [Yes, while Saak waited at his place for us to pick him up].
Then we picked him up, and apparantly he has things of his own he is dealing with. [I really wish I could tell what each one was going through, I bet we could make a killer soap out of it.] And I am constantly having this feeling of being in a soap. You ever get that feeling?
Anyways, anyways....after taking another one or two wrong turns, much to saak's contempt, we reached home[Barista..our barista :) ]. Man, we hogged like crazy. We were sulking together. With stupid one liners, only Maddy cud come up wid, and extreme sarcasm only saak cud think of! And they had to close the place and we were not done!
So, we went to this other new place by the park, open drive through, where there were benches, under the sky...We thought when was we last saw the sky. And it started raining, and me and maddy, got wet. Drenched. I ordered Cappucino, while Saak and Mads went for Mint tea. And I saw they had something called shots. I wanted to really get drunk on coffee. So I went for this thing that they served in a test tube, literally... I had this...coffee, oregano and lemon and I loved it! Maddy and I exchanged, she did not like Mint tea. I liked it though. And then, I got my complimentary second shot :-)... Chocolate, raspberry and tobasco..yes literally. Man, it was awesome. Then I ordered yet another cappucino. Saak I guess had another lemonade. Yes, we hogged people. Got wet again. Ofocurse not Saak. We were so high. So high on food, laughter and the freedom of stupidity. And mindlessness. [It is hard for us thinkers!]. Ohh I wish I had the pics of Mads and me with flowers [ we jumped and plucked off the tree (by the road)] in our hair, Hawaii style. Since no one wasnt there, we might even have did a little Hula, under the cloudy skies, moist cold air! The person in the store was friendly, and was happy to have us! We are so going back there for sure! Drove around the park, hoped it would rain again, hoping to get drenched this time. Never did. And had to get back home. Darn. But what a night it was. Just cherish what I have with these guys. We talk about work, career, relationships, life and stupid stuff, and good gossip, books, soaps, and just a group you can talk to. Fall back on. Know that you get the right advice. I havent really explained the context, so I could just quote Saak's statement.
"We all humans have a hole in our heart. And we look for different things to fill it with. And it is also true, it is like a bottomless pit...I dont want to be the guy with his hole filled." And you know what, wat ever happens, I hope I would still be the person with a hole in her heart! Just hope I can make it, atleast to prove to him. This bottomless pit has a lot of space, for everything!

Conversations from the Corner Office @ MarketPlace

2008-11-09T18:54:00.003+05:30

I just found this series, Conversations from the Corner Office at MarketPlace from American Public Media. Worth a try!
Link to the series!

See, time heals everthing...Ofcourse you need a little sense!

2008-11-08T18:42:00.004+05:30

See, now I feel so stupid for being angry. That is what taking time off helps with. Just a day, and things are fine. Ok, fine. What if they are not taking it seriously. It is not even their fault. I am like - always in control, know what I am doing and independant types, that they dont even sense what is in my head.

I need not let out my frustration of being stuck up in my essay. I mean, come on, it is my essay. It is about me. My english and expressive power are fair enough, that I can pull it off, albeit slower. [See, it is faster when you could bounce ideas off someone.] Now, it is something like House, when Cameron, Chase and Foreman quit. Except I did not have them to start with.

And yes, I just compared myself to House. Lol. [Ok, ok... I know I am not and can never be House].

Diwali Day!

2008-10-28T22:39:00.006+05:30

Festivals are may be meant to be this way. All the love and all the happiness.

Today started with my dad trying to wake me up.

"Dad, why are you smiling?"

"You know how nice it is to see you sleep. You used to drink a bottle of a milk in a go, when you were a baby. That was the first thing I did after I came back from work. And your laugh. It was precious. You brought so much into my life!" And then a kiss on my forehead, and stroke of my hair, and a pat on my back - now asking me to really get up!

I was so scared this diwali season, honestly. Of having to not be close to these people at any point in future. Who just love me so - unconditionally.

I could not help but remember how he taught me how to drive a scooter, running behind me for Kilometers together, just being there - asking me to take off. Assuring me that he would be there no matter what.

So, yea, I got up and helped my mom cook. Cribbing[ofcourse aloud] every second of it, saying that was such a time waste to cook all those things. After finishing, I went ahead switched on my computer and CNBC on TV and you know, did my thing. It was about lunch then.

At around three, my mom got up. She was like - you know Deepthi, I am not liking it. We are here. Doing nothing. It is just the three of us. That it when I knew, damn, I was here. I was here with them right now. I knew what I had to. I shut my computer and TV, got up, got ready. [Earlier I was in slacks]. Then made the rangoli, tied the flowers around the house, made my parents tea, decorated the house, lighted the candles I made earlier.

That is what festivals are about. Celebration, joy and togetherness. Somehow, I was going to miss that. I dint want to waste time. Damn me.

My mom was so happy. We both went around for a walk to see how other houses were decorated. And then we came back, made pulao, and ate. :)
Unlike most families I know, we are a very expressive family. My parents were never the "disciplinarians". We were friends and equals. Ofcourse we respected them and they made sure we know who is the boss, but beyond that, we could always assert our opinion. Our opinion always mattered. And none of us ever shy away from saying "I love you". Infact, most of our calls end with an "I love you".

This family has gone through a lot. So much in so many ways. The family saga, the relatives, mom's accident, and a share of financial troubles - these are one things we were always transparent to. I never had to think twice to buy a book. I never had to not take a course. My dad has sworn that he would never let money be an issue for kids education, he himself had to give up education to support a family. But, the point is - it wasnt always like this. And through all this we emerged, loving and more supportive of each other. At this moment, it is the three of us at home. With the exception of missing my sister being here, it is picture perfect. I wish I could freeze now.

Too much Karan Johar

2008-10-28T14:24:00.002+05:30

Ten years have passed since Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was made. I guess I was in sixth standard then. Heehee. Yeaa. True. So, there was this special programme on the movie and behind the stupid overly dramtic bollywood movie, boy, there was so much work and passion.
And then I am watching Shabana Azmi and Javed Akhtar on Coffee with Karan - Yea yea - repeat telecast. And yes, I have nothing better to do.
So, the point is my God, they are so beautiful together. Smartness, charm, intelligence, sophestication and sensibility all rolled into a couple. And my God, his words, they just flowing?

It has been a nice problem solving day!!

2008-10-23T22:44:00.003+05:30

So, I was chatting and meddling with 3 different friends with 3 different problems. Technical ofcourse. ;-)
So, I was understanding and refreshing my basics about threads and parallel processing. Gosh, how much I love what I learnt in college.
Then, some Database stuff and finally some text processing in vb script.
Just reporting about the fun day off work, thats all!!

Bought 2 books and found a great book store!!

2008-10-22T20:25:00.002+05:30

I bought 2 books today, one of which is Go, Kiss the world. After a lot of thought, I bought it anyways. So, I am not able to drive these past couple of days, and I went to work today. So, my mom dropped and picked me up.
We went to Odessey, the book store with my mom. Had an incredible time with her.
Talked a lot, after a long long time.
And, I am going back there tomorrow, for sure. They have a huge collection of books I wanted to check out!
Today was just the way I wanted. Ofcourse it just started, with me winding off work and getting my hands onto the new books :)

Inconsequential rambling...

2008-10-22T03:08:00.005+05:30

I have been trying to sleep for more than an hour and thought of a billion things to write before this.
I hate working when I am on a leave. And that too, mind you, sick leave. Yes, I am actually real real sick. My mouth is swollen red [not able to talk, yes..made many happy]. I sit, and it goes round and round. My body has given up on me and damn, my brain is not able to rest. Did I forget, my senses are acting erratically. Smell of anything, any noise, lights - all make me go nuts, and add to incessant feeliing of wanting to puke.
I am not thinking coherently. And still I cant sleep.
Damn, my brain. Cant seem to stop thinking about essays, schools, and everything else. Again, going, through a sine wave emotions.
Saw the student profile at Sloan, and was in tears. Rethought the whole application thing - If i was ready in life to take it up. And then thought that it was time I slept.
Obviously could not sleep, talked to people and then got back to browsing and these are my findings.
http://www.mindtree.com/subrotobagchi/times-of-mind/
http://ciotalkradio.com/recentguests.html#top
http://mitsloan.mit.edu/newsroom/podcasts.php#alex
http://thembasaga.blogspot.com/search/label/Essays
http://blog.clearadmit.com/2007/04/best-of-blogging-2006-2007-results/
http://rungee582.blogspot.com/
http://blog.clearadmit.com/2007/05/admissions-tip-selecting-your-recommenders/
http://mbababe.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html
http://www.beatthegmat.com/ask-an-mba-admissions-consultant-f40.html
http://www.amazon.com/Ivy-League-Reference-Letters-Recommendations/dp/B000EZ8ODQ
http://www.foreignmba.com/article.php?id=257

I cant really conclusively say how many I read through properly enough to assimilate what was told, but mba babe and in between dreams, gave me some hope.

Just struggling for an epiphany to put out that first draft. The problem is I am not thinking straight to write an essay now. And the stupid doc, put me up on more than 10 tablets a day :(
I would throw them away, as I do, but I cant afford to be sick now. And God, work...hope it is less messier and I get back a life..It is getting frustating to mop up every screw up. By everyone else. Working on 3 projects. And when each is a saga of its own.

Planning to buy a book, to help with the apps tomorrow. Hopefully, it is available. And mostly, will target R 2 for all schools, but NYU. As of now, this is where I stand.
Ahh, well. I am still not thinking coherently.

Cant seem to stop loving this man!

2008-10-20T01:14:00.002+05:30

My God, the fluidity of thought and expression. I would like you to read this article, incredible incredible article, as good as any other piece of thought by this amazing person..
http://www.mindtree.com/knowledgecenter/the_castaway.html
The ending - my God. God bless his soul !
To him though, I want to say right now, "Though my brahmin parents gave me birth, it is only in the hands of someone like your father that I will receive my final deliverance. Thank you for what he does for all of us."

IF - Rudyard Kipling's Verse

2008-10-20T01:00:00.000+05:30

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream-and not make dreams your master;
If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings-nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And-which is more-you'll be a Man, my son!

Go Kiss the world!

2008-10-20T00:07:00.003+05:30

I was thinking of my parents. About how they have raised me. How they have made me what I am just by being the incredible people they are. And above all, just being honored to be their child. This reminded me of this speech I read long ago and I wanted to read it again.
Reading it made me realize, my parents are no less extra-ordinary. They have taught me nothing less remarkable.
Here is a link to it:
http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Welcome_Address_by_Subroto_Bagchi_at_IIMB

Freedom Writers

2008-10-20T00:05:00.001+05:30

I have just seen the movie freedom writers. Seeing stuff like these makes me realize - so many people dont have so many opportunities to have an impact. To be their best selves. But, the fact is I do. I have the support of a loving family, I have the brains
And to not be my very best everyday would be an injustice in itself.

Fluid!

2008-09-24T20:06:00.002+05:30

I so wish life were like a fluid just flowing through.....dynamic, unbrindled and unbound - by people, by decissions, and by everything and everyone else who holds us back - including ourselves. Not restricterd by world's view of success, and not heeding to what is acceptable. Not having to bother about where my food would come from [job].
Pursuing the creative and experiencing the amazing!
Studying all you want and travelling all around!
But the problem is, as much as I love the creative pursuits, I am good at the messy entaglement of the material pursuits[job] :D .

What do I want???

2008-09-21T00:43:00.003+05:30

I have been reading a lot of material about women in business, family and the like lately. I am getting into it. Atleast I am prepping for it, so I thought I might as well read about it. You know, to feel it. To see, to plan the impossible and the inevitable !!??!!
And see, the universe conspires. :) This was a crazy crazy weekend. I read so much - just to discover, what I want...that I really really want [I hate that spice girls could answer that off with a zigazig ha. Hate 'em].
The things I subject myself to ranged from innumerable articles from HBS, Knowledge @ Wharton, McKinesey Quarterly, BBC to Alchemist [half anyways], Zahir [random bits I really like], bits of Direct from Dell [admire the man], and not to forget all the podcasts, and also the Stanford Commencement Speech of Steve Jobs, Oprah and also the very wonderful Harvard speech of JK Rowling, Fashion Channel, Updates on London Fashion Week, US Economic Situation, 1000 places to see before you die, elizabeth town[cud not finish] and ofcourse House and Numb3rs. All in the hope of discovering the timeless question "What do I want???????"

Though I did not make any useful discoveries about myself, I wanted to throw in some advice for the guys. And help and answer a hint that I found for yet another timeless question: "What do women want(This priceless gyaan is just about relationships)?"
[Source: only all the reading, and mind you nothing else ;-)
I read a lot of interviews, case studies, research of lives and career that many schools and profs published, almost upto the fact of nanny vs day care for a working mom. So, mind you, lots of homework :D ]
Although I understand that human experience can never be quantified or qualified to be applied as a principle to fair degree of accuracy, there were pretty interesting facts.
Regardless of a home maker or cut throat bitchy business woman, it is the same.Underneath all the layers, it is so simple. Women just want a sense of being secure. Beieng secure about thier relationship. They hate not knowing that they are important. And being taken for granted. And all you have to do is just acknowledge they are important. Once in a while. Every now and then. Thats it.
And why do all the guys miss it??

And on a final note, some of the stuff I read up:
http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=182
http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article.cfm?articleid=45
http://hbswk.hbs.edu/industries/technology.html

Stanford GSB Lady

2008-09-11T22:59:00.003+05:30

I just came home after listening to stanford admission officer present a session on "Why Stanford?". It was exactly what I needed. May be she did not sell me on Stanford [Yes, all of you rolling your eyes, I was not sold]. Would I still apply, may be I would. Read on.

The highlight of the evening has got to be the alumni who were there. The founder of Fresh @ Retail stores - Lokesh. His story goes like this - undergrad from a university in the US, comes back starts Fresh @, decides to pursue an MBA, while taking care of his chain. Simple, fun loving guy. And wanted nothing but information to make a right choice. Did exchange programme in China, and studied retail and Organic Market there.
Then, a lady who said "this is where you register" -smart, exuding confidence, and dressed to mean business - when we were trying to find our way to the meeting hall, later, we find out is the alumnus. And this is the story bound to give hope. She graduated from India, then went on to do her Masters, and six years later, she is a director of product engineering. Then decides to pursue an MBA. And when she joined the school, she was expecting. And in three months had her first baby. Whooaa. Talk about balancing career and family. Post graduation from Stanford, she joined a start-up from which eventually was acquired by Motorola. Now, she just moved back to India to lead the team as Product Development Strategist for Developing countries at Motorola.
Man, imagine being surrounded by not one, not two but three hundred of such people. Accomplished, smart and driven. All with big ideas, and mostly, the confidence to see them through. Being challenged. And challenging others to be their personal best. Wow.
It has always been the case that I am fastest to understand, first to finish or the one with most work done. I guess because I never was in such company.
For a girl with a simple and straight forword ideology of making it happen, no matter what, the no matter part would really be tested to its limits. I hope i make it through. I really cant wait.

So, its collision time baby!!

2008-09-02T23:47:00.002+05:30

So, day before yesterday, I saw an update on BBC about LHC [Large Hadron Collider]. If you dont know what I am talking about, let me give you a little brief. Every particle physicist on the planet is working on it. If they are not, [I wonder if there are any], they are not experimental physicists at all. It is the single most ambitious project science has ever taken up, with outcomes capable of unifying all the forces.
Summer of 2008 has got to be the summer of the century for the particle physics. So, right now, the quest is to find Higgs Boson. I am doing my homework now. Very rusty on the standard model as of now. I could not wait till other commitments were over before I can jump headlong into this. And now, here I am. So, there is a very very long post and I guess with such an exciting turn of events lined up, a series of posts coming up, with all the updates and all the excitement.

Amboli, Maharashtra

2008-08-24T22:14:00.002+05:30

My sister went to Amboli, Maharashtra. And here is a picture, from her new phone. Grrrrr.

Boy, I so want to get out of this place and shake-up my life. Fine. It is just one week and I hope my mom does not turn me down.

I am so tired. I wish I knew how it would be, to be free. Free of all the stereotypes and responsibilities cast onto you. Free of all the questions, why-s, how-s and mostly why-s.

Nothing to beat the blues like a nice movie...

2008-08-24T21:46:00.003+05:30

This unexplainable blues, boy, I was just so lost. Probably sitting at home through the weekend..
And nothing to beat it like a warm movie. I saw sleepless in seattle, yet again. Mood makes a lot of difference in the way we see a movie. I guess seeing it now, was like seeing it for the first time all over again. Smile did not leave my face.
I dont understand how people dont like it.
Btw, through the course of this weekend I saw, pursuit of happyness (eighth time), p.s i love you, bucket list, and sleepless in seattle. What a collection of fine cinema.
And finally, after a lot of thought, or on the contarary, some would argue, lack of thought, I would love to make a highly controversial statement now. Drumroll please...
All this 'L'-word-talk is highly over-rated.
Anyways, still beaming as I write, adios.

As silly as I might find this later....

2008-08-24T17:49:00.003+05:30

As I named this post, as silly as I might find this later, this is me right now, and I guess this needs to be documented. Thats what my blog is for. I need to remember, where and how I have come, and with memory such as mine, I have to do this.
I guess I have never been more confused, or had more questions than answers or felt that so much of 'all of it' was unknown than right at this point in life, here , right now. May be I guess I am growing up. The reasoning being if I had refused to see it earlier, I am forced to see it now.
FYI: it = Nothing in particular. In general, the bigger questions in life.
However, saw the most wonderful movie ever. P.S. I love you. I honestly had swollen eyes and red nose by the end of it. I dint realize that fact until I saw myself in the mirror.
How does that happen? Does that at all happen?
Or is it just peer pressure getting to me. I hate that all this is making me question the very core, with absolutely no trace of answers.
There is just too much that I am afraid I would be dragged to take the other route. And yet, there is desire to be part of something wonderful.
And looking around me does not help. Not one bit. God, Charlie and Amita, for heaven's sake.
Well, honestly, this is one of those days, where in you know you dont fit in, and then usually question everything.
Well, I 'll be fine. I am who I am and will be. And I know I'd have it no other way. But just one of those days.
I am sure not a word made sense to any living soul. I wish it did to me.

Ahhh, the good life!!

2008-08-23T00:07:00.002+05:30

Amazing food, great shopping, great company with killer wits ;-)
Beautiful shit happens....
"What else does one need in life"
Great drive and heavenly music...
"What else does one need in life"
"Need to know shez goin somewhere" Wow!!
Posing for pictures when everyone else is staring at you...heehee...
Did I mention, most incredible food?
Irish coffee brewed to perfection, the "more perfect than the perfect" cheese cake, ohhhh man!!!
The good life!!!!

Asses and perverts, yet again :(

2008-06-26T23:54:00.004+05:30

We've got tons of them, in abundunce!!!!
Oh my god!!!!! It just sickens me deep in the stomach to see them in action.
Never was it more uncomfortable being a girl. Just sick sick asses.
What cant be things and life be simple and just.
Why do we have to deal with nonsense?
I hate myself for being a dumb ass over and over.
I know, I am just cribbing too much....Just one of those stupid stupid days......

A comedy of accidents and errors!

2008-06-21T03:58:00.003+05:30

In betweeen heels and workouts, (yeah, I started hitting the gym) twisted my anke badly. And I massaged this pain reliever over it, and (yes, I am a genious) I put those hands into my eyes. After almost weeping for half an hour I slept. My computer was on the bed, beside me and I slept with my hand on the power cord. It was hot and my hand slowly burned enough to leave a mark. (I guess it is understood that it hurts). And please dont ask me how I slept through. In my defence I was tired. Moreso, I got up when I got up because I had a bad dream. Otherwise I dont know what would have happened to my arm. :) [My mom would have called slow cooked pork... lol ] And after all this, I am not able to sleep. :(
Back to square 1. :(

Friday was not as planned

2008-06-21T01:12:00.004+05:30

As the title says, Friday was not as planned and I am sure the weekend would not be one bit like how I planned (Not to mention through the night). But, I am not the one to fret or complain. I will have fun, any which ways.
Met maddy and saak over a quick coffee, and had a good time, and isnt that the important thing!
Talked about all things important and mostly unimportant! Glad to be part of "non-judging breakfast club" :)
So long!!

My plans this weekend!

2008-06-20T01:57:00.003+05:30

Ok. This wednesday, I made up my mind that I was going to have fun for a while, no matter what. Quick recap starting wednesday upto now(thursday - night two)
Wednesday evening -
Dragged my mom to the mall. ( Did not want to go home ). Me and mom were hungry. So, we ate at McDonalds. Then we ( I ) thought we could check out for some tops or shoes. I was really keen on improving my jewellery rather bauble collection. But apparantly, mom was least bit interested. She was into bags and some gift she had to pick for her friends' son, who started going to school. And more so, on every thing I pick up, she would give a "miranda sigh". So, I told mom see you in the kids store in 15 minutes. And guess what, there were 2 kids stores, one in the fourth floor and the other in ground. And I put my phone in my mom's purse, thank you very much! After spending frantic half an hour, I found her - looking up at the lobby hoping to spot me on one of the floors. Phew!
Wednesday night -
After having my share of irritations, trying to but not being able to sleep, over the past one week, I decided it was time, I break out of bondage - of minutes and seconds. So, did not even try sleeping.
Oh, if I have not told you already, what all I did every single day over the last week in my attempts to sleep, here goes - I drank luke warm milk, washed my hair, lied down, counted numbers, then counted sheep, then tried to multiply huge numbers, closed my eyes, and for a while, if I start thinking about stuff, I would repeat the phrase "Cut out thoughts!", later tried to read - philosophy (wth). Phew, and many more with no result at all, whatsoever!
Back to the main topic, Wednesday night - I was randomly browsing of all the stuff, I saved in my favorites over the last two weeks, coz now, I could actually spend the time. So, heard coldplay released a new album. I first saw them on tv on the live 8 concert. The good thing is, how they stick to their ideals. So, first wikied them, then saw they played the same day live in london, I frantically searched bbc radio 1 - I am a regular there. There was a recording. Wow. I was listening to it, and heard them mention, this Kate Nash girl. Oh, all the while was reading Knowledge at Wharton articles and case studies. Back to Kate, as a mandate, first wikied her (upcoming 20 year old Brit), then god bless youtube!
Listened to all her songs. All. And the whole day today too. I would describe it as, umm.... well, to start with- a one hundred percent "girly", if you call stating girl's povs. More so, in a very 20 year-old kinda way. I was wondering if I would like her if I were a little older. But right now, I like her. My most fav are - Dickhead, Mariella and The Nicest Thing. Her lyrics have a good dose of rhetorics, similies and metaphors. But she has a quality of being just raw and honest, and I really am not the person to be commenting on the musical genious (of anyone).
And finally slept.
Thursday - Through the day -
Lunch, then treat with my new club at work(could not have anything though, I just had had lunch) , then coffee (gone extremely awry, most terrible thing I tasted), then came back, sat for a second and coffee again - this time for 2 long hours. The weather was exquisite!
Thursday - Night -
My friends are over-working these days, so finally they said we could meet on Friday. And my sis was coming over the weekend. Had to plan these out!!
After heavy cribbing that there are no places to go around, I started googling.
So, after lot of searching over the net, and after considering, many places even outside of the city, I came up with a plan each:
Friends - Friday night
There is a new coffee place, actually I found 2 places, I am yet to try. But the location of one is uncertain. (I dont exactly remember). The known one is Cafe Rico.
But then, I also came to know there was a new restaurant - Zaitoon - with dishes from Afghanisthan,Pakistan,Iraq,Arabia, run by Jordanian. One problem being, we get to start from work at 8, and have no idea when they close. But thankfully, these places are about 5 kms away. Will let you know where we went!
Sis - So, this is long. We have a whole day. thought we'll go out of the city on a drive or the like. But decided on this plan:
Saturday:
Laad Bazaar. (Never actually explored)
Mojamzahi market.
And since, she has been dreaming of gaming machines and the like, thought, will take her to a gaming parlor, before today, dint know there was a good one in the city!
Sunday:
Then, Golconda being hardly 7 kms away, it has been more than 10 years since I saw it. So, if possible the sunday night - light show, and on sunday morning - at 7 when it opens, a good trek and some beautiful pictures(hopefully)!!
Hopefully, I'll be able to atleast do half the things I planned. Lets see!
Will keep you posted. :) :) :)

P.S. Just now, I started listening to this "Regina Specktor". The same style, but much better. Listening to Fidelity and liking it!!

Favorite things!!

2008-06-15T22:51:00.000+05:30

Very pleased with my Tea!!

2008-06-10T02:31:00.002+05:30

These days, I have come to terms with the fact that I lost my ability to cook. For a girl, who grew up with Sanjeev Kapoor as her idol, barely in sixth standard, I am having trouble brewing up a decent cup of tea. I just donno, why.

But I made tea, just now. And I am so pleased with it. So, taking a break, listening to raw british humor on BBC and enjoying my tea... thought I'll put up a recipie:
Tea powder. For obvious reasons.
Basil (fresh from the balcony)
Nutmeg. Tried for the first time in tea, and love the flavor it adds.
Small piece of cinnamon.
A good amount of ginger.
Two cloves.
And served with out milk and sugar to taste.

Just read this somewhere.....

2008-05-06T01:42:00.005+05:30

Prove to everyone who thinks you can't, you can!
Prove to every circumstance that says you can't, you can!
Just prove to yourself, you can!
So that the next time, you know for a fact, you can!
And that is how you eventually realize, be it anything, you can!

~Anonymous

Wow!!!!

2008-05-05T17:26:00.003+05:30

Saw a shooting star just now. Wow.
My first ever shooting star!!!!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!!!!!! (the happy one)
I am just so excited!!!

Excess caffine and almost totally insane!!

2008-05-01T01:44:00.004+05:30

I hardly slept for more than 3 hrs in total in the last 2 days. I heard in house
(the serial, if you dont know, please see. You wont regret it. Very addictive. Ohh, this Numbers is also so awesome. Saw both of them yesterday, at 3 am and 4 am)
once that 72 hrs, is the longest a person can survive with no sleep. But seriously, had so many commitments that I just got up so early today morning. (someone needed a shoulder).
And I dont think I have slept the day before that too....I really dont remember. See, things are not getting committed to long term memory :). lol

And to survive today at office, had some coffee and kept it going. So, now at may be I think 2 in the night, after repeated trials to sleep since 11......I am writing. I know, non sense.
I was really getting hyper all evening. And I was just going eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.
If you are not getting it, next time I am flustered be with me, u'll know. But let me warn you that it might get ultrasonic.
And my brain is not working to do anything worthwhile.
One good thing I did was browsing flickr. Check out my favorites.
Beautiful stuff from each one of them.

So, the time I was in Vizag with the team, me and my friends got up at 5 am to check out sunrise, by the beach. We had the whole beach to ourselves. And as we put our feet into the water, we realize it was freezing cold. And she went, "shit".....
And suddenly we look up and there was the sun, ever so beautiful, warm and gentle, just peeking above the sea level. And we thought, you know what,
"shit happens, but beeeeaaautiful shit happens!!!!"
Yes, visibly I am going crazy. Random stuff.

Ohh, on that note...I have observed that people are just not getting normal, are they?
So, these new set of fast track ads on tv these days, thats defenitely normal. Loved 'em. Uber cool. People are happy just by being them, that having any relationship with them is not taxing.

Have been talking to mom lately. Rather spending time with my mom and yes, she is doing all the talking. About every detail of her day - in great and elaborate detail. Hmm.... Kinda feels nice. Have been pestering my mom to take me to circus. Lets see. Will definetely post updates if that happens.

And, God, did I run out of random stuff......wait, not yet.
I was thinking I should stop listening to Avril for a while. My language is kinda getting (how should I put it....hmmm) un-lady-like. But you know what, I can sing any song of hers any time of the day anyday. She is just so good.

Hmm.....went out for lunch today. After a long while. We went to barista and yes, I did have coffee.

Thats it. I think I am out of random stuff. :(
Yes, yes.....if anyone has actually bothered to reach this sentence, you must have an exact same expression, for a totally different reason( must be going wth).

Ohh wait, I finished seeing all the aired episodes of Gossip girl. Update.

And yea, got a DVD of 2007 crossroads from a friend of a friend of a friend. Searched for it in all the music stores here, man...Anyways, Avril and Kelly might get a break, afterall.

Driving to and back from office (might I add, one long hour each side in extremely unruly and crazy traffic ) and listening to nice stuff (volume :17, cant go beyond this, cant hear people honking, otherwise) is the best part of my day. Might miss you people tomorrow - Avril, Kelly, Nickelback, Greenday and Rasmus (my staple, these days).

Ice Cream!!

2008-04-24T01:11:00.002+05:30

My Mom called me at office today. Told hi and said, I am kinda low today. Almost inaudible. Being the people that we are, strong and stubbornly independent ( yea, u know now, where I got that from), I knew how difficult it was coming out of her mouth.

I felt so sad that I was physically with her and could let this happen. Nothing that is serious. All she needed was someone to just talk to and see the tv or discuss about what happened in her office. And I was not there.
I know there might come a time, when I might not be next to her, atleast for a while, but I was beside her now.
So, my solution: an extra huge dose of ice-cream sundae. (Yeah, I hate Icecream, I rather have coffee, but I had to find a thing we could do together). Got it on the way back, and then we both cuddled up and I let her speak, coz, ofcourse, she had to let all that out. Moms can be so typical!!

And then somehow, I started talking. Actually let her know, how I really felt about life. And you know what, she has been asking me what is it I wanted out of life, or what am I thinking.
As open as my parents are, I never let them in. I know, I am horrible. But I even hate the feeling of being given independence. Nobody gives it to me. You know what, I actually told my Mom it is OK if she would not understand what I said, coz I knew her company and the scope what she gets to see and said, may be that is not what I am or what I wanted. I looked her in the eye and told, I might have grown up. And would not be OK, if i had to accept that getting married, having kids, and buying houses, is all there is to life.
I donno when all this talk will get back to me. I am sure one day, in one of our arguments, I will definetely have it all dished out. She asked me if I was happy, and I said, ofcourse mom, what else do I need? And whatever I need to get to, I am ok with the fact that I am not there yet.
Then I told her about all my friends, and she talked about hers.
But honestly, my mom listened to me intently for a while, and man, was this serious talk or what. And she lightened it up with a goof, and a tap on my head and a major hug, saying "my maddy".
But felt nice I had this talk. And I am sure, she felt important, and nice, getting to know, "her maddy"

Cleaned my room :) :) :) - Finally!!

2008-04-07T01:40:00.004+05:30

Eccentric, Loud, Bold and Happy!! Thats me!!!!

Yeah, yeah......i know I am 22(too old) for such pink!! But, who cares??? As long as it makes me happy!!!!!

Imagine!!

2008-04-06T14:31:00.001+05:30

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

- John Lennon (Beatles)

My HERO !!!!!

2008-04-05T00:47:00.003+05:30

It is not about politics. It is not.
It is about giving hope, making dreaming possible and mostly leading the way...

I am talking about ChandraBabu Naidu, the former chief minister of Andhra Pradesh, the state I once more than proudly called my own.

I remember the day he lost, I felt so bad that I could not vote. I was so angry with everyone in the state. We did not deserve him. He lost for 2 reasons, as I see it: his bad luck(all ours, I should add)- there was drought for 5 out of 8 years of his rule, and his insistance that people did their jobs.

I so distinctly remember the way I used to feel when he was the chief minister. I felt personally responsible. Had this sense of belongingness to a state, to a vision, to be the best of what we could be....I never threw a piece of paper on the road, more so, I picked up paper off the streets. Remember, "Clean and Green Hyderabad!!" . The government was not something you did not care about. He made sure people knew they were there to serve us. They, I mean every government office was there to help people. They were accountable.
With "janmabhoomi", we were made to see the dignity of labor.
Imagine, each person from his cabinet had to go through a spiritual (mind u, not religious), computer and e-governance training. The random visits to government offices. more so, at 9 in the morning and his instant dismissals made him unpopular.
He was the one, who trusted collectors, his educated supporting force, for grass root work, than his own people. It was because of him that Hyderabad grew as an alternative and preferred destination for IT after Banglore.

Now the political situation in the state is a mess. The current CM, trying to not do what his predecessor did, totally ignored IT or anything that is good for the state. All companies moved out of the state in 5 years he was not here.
And to top it up now, a new political party from Chiranjeevi, the man who is adulated (south indian style) and i (and neither is anyone from the state) able to speculate what will happen. But one thing for sure, CBN will never be CM again, with this new development.

I only hope, I will love my state again. I only hope I feel what I felt once, with CBN as the CM. I hope we realize our true potential.
I just hope.

Boy, does this need disclaimer or what....It is long, opinionated and utterly biased...

2008-04-03T01:37:00.009+05:30

Okay. I read this post today (rather just now) and I need to post this one. And you know what, I tried a lot to express a strong opinion, but somehow, did not come off. You should read this other one though. I agree a 10000000000%.
The conversation I had with this dude and so many other normal girls, that made me want to write about this. Btw, I have about 4 or 5 earlier posts that I never published on the same topic.

The reason being: I have to my credit - the fact that I succesfully warded off a nice guy, who had a crush on me, just because of my opinions on this matter. No regrets. He was just too boring [but good-looking, I should mention... ;) ]. If he did not see me at that inopportune moment, if not a serious relationship,I would have atleast been saved from from being branded "boring"....Lol...
I restrained writing this for a long long time. What the heck, here goes. (Btw, I'd like to see if there are guys who dare talk to me after this.... Lol)

Okay, a lot of thought went into this before making this statement.
All men are dogs...Come on, dont shussh me off. Gimme a chance to justify it. Well, all men are dogs, but there are some, (usually, I term them normal ) who rise above their inherent nature and be rational. Most of the times, atleast. We'll get back to it.

So, talking about this doctor girl in the post.....Man, she is self-made. (She lost her family in an accident). She is strong. She is a doctor. She manages a business. Paints beautifully. Sings wonderfully. She is beautiful. She is traditional. Her heart is in the right place. And did I mention, she is damn rich. And all she needs is a guy, who lets her be. And does not suffocate her.

And boy, is it difficult to find one like that. Come on, accept it. All guys change after marriage. I have seen so many cousins ruin their, yes ruin their lives, after marriage. One cousin is warding off nasty in-laws, while the other is unrecognizable - thanks to her mother-in-law's insistance to wear what not!! And yet another one is at home, minding a kid, after being university first. I always thought, they should have put a little more thought into whom they were marrying. And not the first person that came around. Not that the guys are all bad. But they are not definetely good enough to stay happily and not bad enough to leave. They are stuck for life.

Back to the doctor girl. I seriously wish I were a guy so that I can be the man she deserves. She has seen a lot and she needs no more. She is wonderful, and deserves no shit.
It is like this, either you marry a dumb guy who says yes when you say yes and be happy.
Or never marry.
Or dont expect rationality from the guy. (Please, if any guy begs to differ, you are normal, and boy, I will be glad to talk to you!! And so will all be my friends)

This gal broke up today, cause - he asked her to change...?? Why??
I know her. She is perfect. If a guy cant take her as she is...why start in the first place??
Come on, I am not being adamant. And neither am I saying no compromises. I understand compromises. Like he said, most of the times, change is good, when you want to. For the ONE, who you think deserves it. But imposing change???

So, all except one of my normal girl friends
(Definition: we are all opinionated, have strong personalities and actually think for ourselves, value our independence, have career aspirations and more than anything else have a life of our own)
are single at this point in time. And I guess, the one who is seeing someone, deserves better. But anyways, he lets her be. That is all one needs. Man, isnt it biased that we change the name we had all our lives, manage a household and change what we were. And, one more thing that strikes odd to me is with the guys we usually meet.
At work they are Ok- with girls who give them a challenge and ones, with whom they can properly flirt around, but when it comes to a wife, they need an unopinionated, simple and uncomplicated, traditional girl.
And guys, please dont use "lines". We have seen enough, more so we talk remember??
Freaks.

But for her, the rest of us have (may I add, after a few unsuccessful attempts to find a person ) the ground rule clear.
No compromise. As long as it may take.
But the only problem is nosy aunts and moms. Man, do these moms come with a manual of things to say and do??
We are all in hope of meeting anyone who can even come close and these people are ready to ship us off....And man, a function or a party is off limits and always keep an eye on the company your mum keeps. Lot of work. Phew...

P.S 1
This the advice my friend gave me......when I said, dude...thanks to your inspiration I post this and no guy will ever talk to me and most girls would think what my fuss was all about......
"Post your salary details and the fact that you might get a hike - that will take care of the guys. Girls, they already think you are wierd, no surprises there"

P.S. 2
The weather is awesome outside and it is three in the night. Times like these, any guy would do....to go out!!

Hmmm......I cant think of a title....

2008-04-03T01:19:00.002+05:30

It is always nice to attend a training or one of these stratergy/roadmap meetings. A manager from across the ocean has come over and we had him talk to us.
These meetings always leave you with such a nice feeling.
They make you feel you are not part of this small world u are in right now...
They push you to think larger and bigger than you would normally do.
They tickle all your creativity and all the enthusiastic bones.
And for once make you feel good about your job. And the place you are in.

And then, you come back to your cube and back to **** (expletives go here) work. And more importantly the people. Do I have to say the words??
Man, how I wish I get to be surrounded by people who challenge you to grow. And are fair and help you realize your potential !!
Well, these meetings always leave me on a high !!!

Life moves on!!!

2008-03-27T22:16:00.000+05:30

Compendium of random topics....

2008-03-25T03:13:00.006+05:30

These are the things I wanted to write about, may be need to have seperate posts. But living up to the expectations of people about my randomness....here it goes, all together....

1. My favorite time of the day is between 2 AM to 4 AM. When everyone is asleep. :)
It is a good day, when I am awake at this time...

2. Had a great weekend....Missed my sister a lot. It is wonderful that I can talk to her about everything and still have contradictary point of views.
But it was great.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/life-while-looking-at-poetry/

3. Started reading thousand splendid suns....Firstly reading was never my thing....But did not want to not explore that. So, reading these days...
I did not get this book the first time...It was so difficult to remember the names and follow which character was doing what. And I stopped and restarted it. Really liking the book. Also, there is Emma, Pride and Prejudice, NorthAnger Abbey....all stopped in the middle. But this schedule really does not give me time to sit and read.
Back to the thousand splendid suns, really liked the style of the author. I am having a bad urge to know what happens to mariam at the end.
Just cant find the time.

4. I am almost addicted to lists. Almost every work related thing I do, has a list and / or a note. And non work related things too. May be all the things I am doing....See, even this is a list. LOL.

5. Life has been generally very good these days. Lucky to know so many best friends. It is funny how you connect to certain people in such a short span of time. I just had brief connections with most people i talk to these days. Funny. And I talk to Mj, after such a long time, after spending almost every second of four years together and I say, I have changed a lot, she says come on. Did you forget whom are u talking to?? I know it, even before u can think of it. And it is so true. Miss you, girl. It is so nice and beautiful, how time does not matter.

6. I dont like picking dresses all together. I like putting together stuff. My favorite style is *fashionable ethnic contemporary indian chic*. Allows a lot of creative freedom, with all the beads. Btw, for those who have not seem my room, I have stuff of every color shape size material u can imagine. A old old collection from every place I have been to. Trying to rearrange things. But cant seem to find a way. Getting unmanagable. Anyways, the point being these days, I have lost the urge. To really really dress up like I used to - impeccable. But it is ok. Lemme see, for how long this feeling lasts.

7. Brings me to another point. I had this conversation about normal people. I was like "Normal people know it is Ok. No matter what, it is Ok. Even if they are not Ok, they know it is totally Ok to be not Ok. You are you, and u are normal. " And my friend was like, u know wat, I actually understood your crap.
And I asked what crap (thinking which conversation is he referring to...yesterday, today or some time else, Lol ).
Anyways, these are almost all the *random* thoughts I thought I should write through the day...Naah, there were more. But I guess, this is enough for a day.....

People, have fun!!
Life is beautiful.....
XOXO

Hope is a good thing...

2008-03-21T01:19:00.002+05:30

One second you are fretting over things, the stuff, and the usual. That someone has said something that they should not and something has happened that should not have.

You would want to react and scream out at the top of your voice but the better part of you says that would be stupid and senseless. And yea, that one can do better.
So, there I was fretting and straining every inch in my brain, just to let it pass by.

Then I saw a movie.

It is just wonderful, how movies can transport you to a different world. Make you feel <>. Just feel and emote.
Happy, sad, elated, ecstatic, romantic, stupid.
Anything at all and everything under the sun.

And that does it. Whatever it was, it does not matter. It may not be Ok, but it does not matter, since you are more busy. Your brain cells have a different activity now. Something more glorious and happy. For those 2 hours, you have not for a second felt anything but what you were intended to feel but felt more. You were in someone else's shoes. The story tellers shoes. Ohh, may be the shoes the story teller wants you to wear.

Ahh, the magic of cinema........

So, wondering which was the movie??
Shawshank redemption. I wont be the one to write anything on it.

And hope is a good thing.....Yes, it is....

I wish :) :) :) :)

2008-03-18T00:01:00.004+05:30

I am all smiles.

I wish an evil witch who cant hear or see or smell the star, be here....
I wish people could be turned into mice.
I hope the flying pirates rescues the prince. And tell him why the star is glowing.
Aghhh....captain. U r still our captain. Lol.

And how I wish I had the babylon candle. For it is the fastest way to travel. :)
And they glow forever.Together. :)

I know there will never be a cunning king or witch or the captain or the unicorn to make it happen...
But...I wish...

XOXO.

Million little moments!!

2008-03-14T01:08:00.003+05:30

People have complained that my posts were getting more random than usual and I thought I will take a break. But lemme come back with the most random post ever.
Dont come back later to me I dint warn you!!

Ohh, it was a beautiful morning. And it was my parents twenty third anniversary.
Most of the times, looking at them, I wonder how did they survive 23 years??

They could not be more different to start with.
It is funny how my dad manages to say go straight on a 'Y' junction, while giving directions and how my mom manages to freak out on that each time. After 23 years of seeing him at work.
It is nice seeing my mom shows whoz the boss and how my dad complies.

From going on a scooter with my dad driving, mom on the back seat and me in between to me driving a car while they fight over directions, we have come such a long way. So many things changed. But somethings never changed. Even when I am 22. Everynight, my dad still gets my food to me. Most of the times feeding me. It is his favourite thing to do.

You know what, my mom knows how to freak off my dad and my dad knows what gets to my mom. But this knowledge changes nothing. I can imagine them being old. Post retirement. In their dream house. Dad in the garden and mom by the verandah, reading. Arguing over the most silly things. And obsessing about us kids.

The way they make up after a fight, with a long silence followed by one stupid joke from my dad...and then moving on as though nothing has ever happened...
Then I know, how they survived these years. Now, they know it is Ok to disagree. Atleast most of the times. Lol.

My mom always says, there are somethings in life you cant choose and one of them is parents. U r stuck wid us, like it or not....
But u know wat, i wud not want it any other way. Ohh come on, not that they dont know just the thing to piss me off. Ofcourse they mastered the art.

They have always given us space to breathe. Let us grow. My mom just by being herself taught us so many things. How important it is to want something and getting it. How to rise above the otherwise worst phase of life. How important it is to be bold. Independant. Never were we treated as "girls". Never were we stopped from doing or dreaming anything. And dad is just the most responsible person when it comes to family. His life's aim is not to marry us off. It is to fund us to study to our heart's content(He had to quit his studies to take up a job). And we are equals. Our opinions matter.

I will still get up tomorrow morning and answer my mom back. I still will get pissed off by my dad. End up having a fight over nothing and have long pauses in conversations.

And yes, they are appreciated.
They are loved.
They are admired.
They are adored.

Just for being themselves.

Rachel or Emily..??

2008-03-03T08:13:00.004+05:30

I had this conversation with a friend once.
He said, "I made the biggest mistake ever. It was like Ross saying 'Rachel' in his wedding to Emily. I reacted "whyyyy, howww??"

And then I told him Ross and Rachel worked out in the end, so no worries. Everything happens for a reason.

Then he says, you made my day worse. I realize now, that I said Emily instead of Rachel.

Rachel or Emily it will work out...Because, eventually, you'll see what happened happened because it was meant to happen..

For those of you, who did not get what I am talking about....
See Friends Episode Number: 24 Season : 4. Din't jog your memory.....try this...

But at the end of the discussion, we were still thinking if Ross should have said Rachel or Emily?? Ohh, talk from an unbiased perspective. Not because we all love Ross and Rachel. That we do anyways.

Colors

2008-03-02T21:06:00.005+05:30

I really love all the color, Indian art has to offer.

Discovering my style!!

2008-03-02T06:37:00.004+05:30

I have been planning to write a design section in my blog forever, but never happened. So, here goes the first in the series..

Lemme start with the places I go to for training.
One blog I am subscribed to and check out almost everyday is this.

This blog is like a bible for people like me with no formal training.
Man, to get to such sense of style, it really needs lots of work. And most importantly, you need to look at a lot of work to understand the dynamics of it.

Like everything, atleast for me, you need to look at something you never dreamt of - to challenge yourself to be that. All the while, the struggle is to be exposed to things. Read about it. Feel it. So that you have something to aspire to. Set a goal, achieve it, move on.

Sorry for drifting away on this post. Anyways, this was about this blog. She has pictures of other designer's work and some of her own.

But as I see it the point is simple, everything goes with something.You just need to train your eye a little to spot that. This is true even for clothes / accessories. And it is evolution. You discover what your style is slowly.

I have few other sites I visit. But I am not sure how do I put them up in my post. Lemme figure it out. But to explore the earlier one itself, it takes a life time. But kudos to her. The images are so beautiful. The settings so perfect. I'll tell you the sad part...all I can do is look at such stunning work in 2D. Being in the city I am in, I can never find contemporary design.

But ofcourse, the characteristic style of the area I live in, (Nawabi) is unparalelled. But somehow, I find it difficult to find good work these days. I hope it is not dying.

I have grown up with yet a different setting around the house. The traditional South Indian style. The heavy antiques. Beautiful bronze sculptures, the very ornate Tanjore paintings. Flowers in a urli, kind of style. I like it too. And I think it can be blended beautifully into a more contemporary setting. So, that it looks less like a museum and more like a home. But purists might not agree.

The space you live in must be an expression of yourself. The creative self. Aaaaah, there goes one of my life's dreams. I may never design for others. But I want to own a home, where every corner has something to offer. Every piece is hand-picked. Every turn has a great deal of thought put into. All the styles blended into perfect harmony. The reflection of all the places I have travelled to (hopefully I would have seen atleast few of the places I wish to see). Bright and soothing at the same time. Lively and stylish at the same time. Making a statement but not too out of the box. Place where you would want to come back and cuddle up. Cozy, comfortable and must be the place I call HOME.

Longest day ever!!

2008-03-01T20:22:00.003+05:30

I have lived here, in this city all my life, and suddenly I feel like I dont know it at all. Honestly, I dont. Wanted to go out today, very badly. My parents ditched me to go look at some real estate. All my friends ditched me. They did. Idiots. And for the first time after I started working did not have work to do. I had practically nothing to do.

After feeling restless for a while...I decided I had enough.
So I went out on a long long drive, in the city traffic ofcourse. Traffic is the inevitable way of life, now. Covered all the major places I know, never getting out of the car. This is, by far the most aimless drive.
To go home if I needed to take a right, I take a left and go along, then move on....Listened to the all the RJs blabber to glory and kept thinking God save them...and prayed they would play the song soon. So, after making sure, I take the longest route possible to get home...

I went to this tea place - 'Finjaan', arabian for the tumbler in which you serve tea. I have seen it many times, but never went earlier, cause I never had the time or the patience to do so. So, finally I did go. I had jasmine tea. I dint like it at the first go and as I came to the end of it, it left a sweet lingering taste in my mouth. It was nice. Plan to go there again. Need to try the rose tea. So, with nothing else to do....I come home and write this...

Got this DVD, "Dream girls". Let me see it now.

I am sooooooooooo happy!!!

2008-02-29T15:43:00.003+05:30

There seems to be a chance for me to undo what seemed to be the greatest mistake of my life. Albiet, a little late. May be it will be a little better.
Never mind. All that matters is I am happy.

And you see, dots do connect...
And one more thing let me make the best of what I have now, in all aspects!!

I love my life!!!
I do!! I really do!!

Ohh I forgot Madagascar!!

2008-02-28T12:11:00.003+05:30

In the list of movies I have seen I missed out on Madagascar. How could I?
I saw it twice.
I know foosa will attack me!!
The characters are so full of life, with adorably distinct and strong personalities.
I just love it.

Actually, there is this post about the movie you have to read, which will put a smile on your face, anytime of the day. I dont think I can put it better than this!!

How strange can it get....This was my horescope for today!!

2008-02-28T11:40:00.001+05:30

I stopped reading horescope long time ago and today I happen to see it and this is what I see.....

Something big is coming to an end, for the previous cycle has carried you as far as it can. Now you must use your imagination to dream up your future. But idle fantasy isn't enough, so you need to communicate your vision in a way that makes sense to someone else. If you can share your insights, then you have the potential to make your dreams come true.

Movies I saw in this trip!!

2008-02-28T06:18:00.005+05:30

Writing arbit and not heavy stuff these days, coz so many things are happening around, that I dont actually know where to start. Me and my friends are trying to cook up something and ofcourse, if something happens, u know where u'll know about it.

So, I wanted to write about all the movies I have seen in this trip, from the second I got onto the plane.

As soon as I got onto the plane, I started with
"Little Manhattan" - Very cute. Made me go aaaaaaaaaah (with a tilted head)
Go read it for yourself!!

Then, I saw "The Jane Austen Book Club" . Ending could be a little more heavy, but boy, did I like the movie. For heaven's sake started seriously reading Jane Austen after that. Reading Northanger Abbey right now. I have another story about bookshops I want to tell, may be later.
Go read it for yourself!!

Then, saw "Chak De". First time. A little too late. But I liked it. Sharukh was good. A very nice watch.
I dont think I need to put up a link to that, do I??

Then saw Ratatouille. Nice fun. Cute.
Go see it for yourself!!

Then saw "The Jane Austen Book Club" again. So that was my plane trip.

Came to the hotel and rented, "Shakespeare in Love"
I might have seen it like a billion times already. Just love this movie. I mean it is so dreamy to think of Shakespeare this way!! I love every shot of the movie. Leaves me with a high, always.
Link

Then I happened to see "Message in a Bottle". Just one of those movies, of love. But I thought it was very applealing visually. It is so rustic. And is one of those movies, that can bring up a smile on your face, inevitably.
Link

So, saw all the places where "Sleepless in Seattle " happened and then saw the movie (again). It is so so damn nice. I mean there are a thousand times I must have said in my mind "Dear Mr. Sleepless in Seattle" and smiled. If only he were there and if only Meg Ryan would not be there. Ohh, my imagiantion, then no Meg Ryan.
U must have already seen, anyways

Ok, then happened to see "Love Actually". One of my all time favourites, I mean come on, this is purely unreal and utterly romantic, hypothetical and larger than life tribute to life. I love the kid the most. Even Aureilla.
Every frame is just sheer poetry.
No review, no words is as beautiful!

Sabrina was next. I mean Ok, not the best of romantic movies, but is nice by my standards (I love even the slightly mushy stuff. Come on, makes you feel good about life.) More predictable than you can imagine.
Read about it

Then saw an array of funny movies, thanks to all the new company I found, who just blankly refuse to see anything with any brains involved. That is so superbly cool.
So saw, "Pink Panther" . I dint like it earlier, I guess company made all the difference. Now, I think it is so funny.
U can see it regardless the review

Dumb and Dumber is next on the list. It is hilarious (now). Need to see the ending. Again, must be the company.
Read about it, naah I suggest just see it. Make sure you have the right people along

Then saw, "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind". Coincidentally three days before Valentine's day!!
I already wrote about it. Anyways, I donno. It is poetically beautiful. Some people are just so meant to be. And always, it is so damn important to go back to the basics(Like in everything). If you remember why you loved the person in the first place, things just seem to fall into place. You see him going through almost same thing in his mind , and them when he actually tries to hold on to some memories, you see how silly the whole thing about breaking up was.
Read about it

Then, somehow happened to see "Sound of Music" (billionth time). Ofcourse is a classic and very cuddly watch. So uncomplicated and happy.
Link to imdb review

Then started Metro. Seemed extremely nice. But thanks to playing Risk, did not fisnih it.

Ok, then saw Munna Bhai and thanks to the company got and gave a crash course on "Indian life". Bole tho!!

On the plane back, I saw three movies,
The color purple. Man, was too heavy. Damn, even by my standards. May be saw it in a wrong setting. But was just too heavy.

Then thankfully saw a light hearted comedy, "Dan in Real life". It was fun. I liked it. And more so, was such a welcome. Love at first sight, huun??
Read more

Ended the journey with "Things we lost in fire". Again, serious movie. All about bringing relationships to closure. And moving on in life. I really really thought it was done well. Might be a little too slow, for most audience, but worked for me. Makes you think, married life is not so bad afterall.

Saw Mr. and Mrs. Iyer after coming back. I was literally craving for it. It is so subtle. So gentle and just so beautiful and uncomplicated. Wanted to see it, from the second I got the camera. I just cant forget the scene in the morning, where he shoots her. Beautiful.

Ohh, I am so so sorry. I think there was a major miss. How ever did I forget Andaaz Apna Apna. Oh my good God, I saw people recite reference to movie under every context. Literally recite the movie. I saw most of it. Most. It is very funny. I think it is funny, thanks to the people around. I am sure, I would not have seen it otherwise. It is nice to expand ur apetite for life.

Ohh, good heavens. I saw a lot of movies!!!

Things I missed!

2008-02-28T03:39:00.000+05:30

Randomly, things I missed the most in this trip (in no particular order)
1. Driving (Man, did I miss my car!!)
2. Cell phone.
3.Mom's taane on everything under the sun. (Never ever thought I will miss this. She has something to say on almost everything I do, phew! )
4.Sister's rantings on every detail on her life.
5.Endless choice of accesories. (I have them here, for those who have seen my room). Anyways, me planning to re-do the room a little this weekend, will post pics.

So, I am just here for a day , but yeah, I would write what I am missing from there.

I hated saying good bye!

2008-02-24T18:48:00.000+05:30

It is no fun saying good bye.
I guess everyone hates it, more so when you dont want to.

All you can do is hope you do stay in touch with all the great people you met !!
And unlike the most things that suffer because of time and distance, you just hope some won't !!

Love at first sight!!

2008-02-19T10:21:00.000+05:30

I had a kinda gloomy day. Saw some mails in the morning and got a little frusty and stayed that way.
And I guess I am missing people. All of them.
Ohh and may be had such a good weekend that getting back to the reality of Monday did it!!
I donno.
And may be other reasons, I prefer not to write about (Dont be so shocked!!
Yes, there are things I wont blabber out here and yeah, thanks to this decission of mine, one less boring life and love post!!)

I dint speak at all today. Almost.
So, you can imagine. It was somehow, one of those days.

Anyways, back to the main point here.

On such a day, I saw something that I was made for and was made for me.
My day was changed. Made me feel I was not alone in this.
It was heavenly. It was love at first sight.
I knew it. The second the eyes crossed, I knew we were meant to be together.
My heart was racing. There were sparks instantly and fireworks all around!!

There they were. Up on the third shelf.
Perfect in black and white.
The most gorgeous pair of shoes i have ever laid eyes on.
And guess what, they were on SALE.

What else could one want in life??

Memories..

2008-02-18T01:52:00.001+05:30

These days over and over I had one recurring feeling.
What is it that I can do to hold on to
what I see, what I feel??
What can I do?

So that - On a gloomy day, I can always go back to this point in time and know everything is beautiful. Life is just “perfect”. Everything that can ever bother me is never too important. To re-ignite the romance in life. The romance with the idea of life. Loving your life, again.
Loving that you are alive and loving that you are living. And the fact that you have “lived”!!

All through it, I was waiting for a thought to pass by my mind. Anything. Anything at all.
And there was nothing that I wanted to think of and there was nothing that I could think of. Life just came to a still.

Life these days is seeming to stop more often than it ever did. People say I have changed, but how can things - so beyond splendid – not have an effect on me??
I mean in all this sheer beauty [I can never find a find huge enough to fit the scale I am looking for], at the end of it… I have just one question.

How can I hold on to it?? Hold on - like it just happened? Hold on - like it will happen when ever I need it to? And whenever I want it to?
What can I do?
Do I write?
Do I paint?
Do I write or do I take pictures?
How do I hold on to the sounds?
And importantly how do I hold on to the “essence of the moment”?

How futile am I feeling when I know that there is nothing I could ever do to hold it.
But, wait. My memories. There is a consolation.

But unlike most memories that fade with time, these -
I want them to stay with me.
Unlike most people, who seem to forget the beauty of life with time,
I want to hold on to them.
Tight and close. Through cold and rain. Through warmth and sunshine.

Remembered forever!!

2008-02-14T07:36:00.000+05:30

When I was a kid, my parents took me to a baby show. I was about 5 then. A photographer wanted to take my pictures and my parents said Ok. And then started one of the strangest relationships I could ask for. And also the one I cherish for being the most pure.

Uncle used to call and talk to me once in a while. I was in papers posing for pictures every often, which used were seen in papers. I was such a stubborn kid, when asked to pose. I don’t know why, and now I think I was stupid. And to an extent that I would cry avoiding that whole episode. Anyways, the point is the way uncle made me pose.

He would say
“Suuru che saaru che dunda leke maaru che”, almost smothering me and I would burst out laughing.
Thinking of it now, makes me smile. He was speaking to me every now and then, asking me how I was studying and stuff. Some how I dont remember or I dont know, i cant really say for sure, how he was. I mean what kind of a person he was. Anyways I was a kid then.

But he used to talk now and then and meet once in a while. Told me I should do well. I remember he used to call me "Bangaru Thalli" - telugu equivalent of pumpkin or honey bunch or something like that, literally translating to "Golden Darling". I remember him being so happy on my each success - However stupid. Like me winning some competition or something. He always was there. To congratulate me. To stand by me. I still remember his laugh / smile - so contended, when I used to say things like "Uncle, I won this".

During my tenth board exams, on the first exam he came to wish me luck and came till my seat in the classroom. (He was allowed since he was from the press.) Few days passed. And I was just preparing for my exams. And one night, I remember before english exam, he called me. It was pretty late. About 11 in the night. My mom picked up the phone and I asked her to tell him that I would return the call later. And then I did not listen from him for 2 days. And it being exam season, I was too preoccupied.

He passed away that night of a heart attack and he was found after 2 days in his house. People did not want me too see him. I dont remember what happened later, but I was told it happened at about 11.30 or about the same time that night.
He was thinking of me!!
He wanted to talk to me.
And I wish I had talked to him that night.
And he knew that was it and that is what he wanted to do!!

If he ever looked down upon me, I want him to know that he is loved.
His memories are cherished.
And, his presence felt!!

And yes, remembered forever!!

It is a bright beautiful day in Seattle!!

2008-02-14T02:11:00.000+05:30

Today is a bright beautiful day in Seattle!!
And it is valentine's day tomorrow.

The sky is bright, warm and still. It is Seattle.
The sky is never still. It always moves. And it so utterly gorgeuous to see it drifting.

Usually, there is just a white glow at the bottom....anf melts into a lil blues ...then come gorgeous greys....with deep purples....crossing into reds / oranges all draped with white translucent clouds....just moving about....slowly...ever so beautifully.

This is the first day I have seen, since I have come, to see the clouds not gently dance across the vast open sky.

Now, it seems like even the Gods are consipiring for the worlds to come to a still.
Sign asking us to stop, reflect and live it up!!

BTW: Saw Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind. So, it is like this. People who are meant to be will be. I really liked it. The way their relationship progresses backwards in the movie and in due course how he rediscovers why he loved her in the first place. The things he thought were nice in the beginning - turn out to be the things he dislikes, as he moves on. As he starts to realize how beautiful were the memories of his with her, he wants to preserve them, even if she chose otherwise.

I just loved the part where he tries to hang on to her memories desperately, as they erase. And eventually says, let us just spend the time we have. The scene on the beach there is so beautiful. My heart just went out to him.
They seem so meant to be. Some people are just meant to be. Hopefully they realize before it is too late. And other factors that they think is a problem, dont matter. They just dont.

And head over heels and hopefully not flat on my face, LOL.

Anyways, lots of work back in the reality!!
Hope you are doing the things you should be doing. (Like asking people out).
Ok, Ok I wont give out advice now.

And to all of you,
Happy Valentine's Day!!!

XOXO.

Strings!!

2008-02-09T10:28:00.000+05:30

Disclaimer: I have been very careful not to sound like the wikipedia or boring science text book. This is the fascination of how we have evolved in physics from a layman's point of view. But yea, go ahead only if you want to. Dont crib later that I have sung you to sleep. :)

I have been wanting to write this new found fasciantion for a while now, never seemed to happen.
But here I write now (I know, I have a ton of latest and happening things to write about). Annyways...

There was this serial, of which I could get only three episodes called "Big Bang Theory". It is about these geeks and their predicaments. It is really funny. I heard them mention this string theory and I was like hmmm...

So, I started. I started reading about strings and what I understood was my understanding of even quatum physics is meagre.

So, our understanding of the world begins with the Newton starting off with gravity. And his equations was enough for us to touch the moon.
Although he quantified it, but up till Einstien, no one ever actually asked what was gravity?

So, then he came up with the cosmic fabric of space and time. To unify Gravity and Special theory of relativity, there was general theory of relativity.

General relativity says that gravity( gravitational accelartion) was just bumps(curvatures) on spacial fabric caused by the weight of planets(mass and energy ; momentum content in universe). Imagine that..............Super!!

Then there is electromagnetism. Thanks to Maxwell.

Then, came along 'uncertainity' with quantum mechanics. And these contradictory views of the same universe.
The balance of Einstien's theory(at the macro level vs the uncertainity of the quantum world(at the micro range).

Inconsistencies arise when one tries to join the quantum laws with general relativity, a more elaborate description of space and time which incorporates gravity.

Resolving these inconsistencies has been a major goal of last two century physics. Even Stephen Hawking, has tried his hand to discover a "Grand Unification Theory" that combines not only different models of subatomic physics, but also derives the universe's four forces—the "Strong interaction" ,"Electromagnetism" ,"Weak interaction" , "Gravity" from a single force or origin.

String theory is an as-yet incomplete mathematical approach to theoretical physics, whose building blocks are one-dimensional extended objects called Strings, rather than point particles, the basis for the standard model of particle physics. So, this is what is happeing right now, in the world of physics.

Check it for really cool explaination of String theory.

Check this out.....it tries to explain these governing laws (atleast for now) in very simple terms.

Another awesome place to tickle your fancy!

If you can, you must really check out this series "Elegant Universe" , which so beautifully explains Einstien's vision of unification. And how and where strings come in.

The fact that we are trying to fit the whole of the universe into a single equation is so kewl. All the known forces, governed by a single unifying principle......Wow!!

No Comments will be entertained on this!!

2008-02-06T22:38:00.001+05:30

What do you do, if you see real life version of Mr. Darcy?
Hypothetically, ofcourse. ;-)
Just preparing, you see.

Honestly, what exactly do you do??

For all of those, who are thinking of a thousand things to say, hold on!!
No Comments....
Strictly NO.....

WIll be continued!!

2008-02-06T21:59:00.001+05:30

There is so much to write and so little time. But yea, unlike most of my posts which never see the light....

I am comitting here to write about my tour of Seattle last night. Ok, i'll promise to keep the ametuer poetry to myself. But a very long post is coming up!!

And take it, if you are planning to skip office, LOL.
Coz it is going to be long, very long!

Did I forget to mention being "Sleepless in Seattle". I will. I will. Soon.

Where lens fail, my words start!

2008-02-06T15:29:00.000+05:30

After trying in vain, for a while now to capture, what I see, in the camera,
I have concluded that, there is nothing that can capture the sheer beauty - that life holds in itself.

And I only hope my words, though an ametuer try, can make you fall in love with the idea of love, life and living. If not you, atleast I have.

But for all of you who think I am losing it, it is not me.
Blame Jane Austen and Shakespere. LOL.

I have been watching movies / reading their work, and so - it is not me.

And neither this awsome weather nor the other things in life are making it any less possible to not believe so - and so - it is not me!!

Guys, and dont get any ideas...Your tight slap might not work, to get me out of this wonderland.

But yes, words can create life out of nothing.
And love out of vacuum.
And they have proved it!

Life is, as you choose to see it.

2008-02-06T15:28:00.001+05:30

So, I got up this morning after an awesome night out - touring Seatlle. And went down to grab my breakfast.
And these are first words I hear today(from some random people, ofcourse),
"Life is good, it is!!'

So, my point being,
Life is good,
Life is beautiful
And it will be if we choose it to be.

Despite all the external factors, I choose to see the good things in life. This might seem naive to the people who choose to be bogged down by the not-so-good things(ofcourse, there are).

But it is rather like this, there are too many wonderful things, that it would be waste of energy and life to be anything but the happiest!!

Every second of it..
I might come off as being dreamy and far from reality, but for now, this is what I choose and this is what I intend to LIVE up to.

And finally, and after last night.. I gotta say this...
Life is beautiful,
And I love my life!!!!!!!!

XOXO

Musings!

2008-02-04T10:58:00.000+05:30

I came to kirkland. And it is romantic. Utterly, deeply, truly romantic.
The seagulls squeking, the freezing winds, the beautiful pristine eternal waters, the sun peeking through the low clouds. Alas, the words fail me!!

Found my peace in the crowd. We went to this local rustic coffee shop and rushed inside to escape the bite of the cold. It had beautiful simple art in black and white (Wonders the presence and absence of all colors and shades in between can create !! )
Enormous glass windows kept me staring at the surreal road, with leaf-less trees clad in shining lights. The stars were down with me. In my dreamy eyes!!

So looking through the window, sitting and sipping the hot chocolate..........it seems like almost being in love!!

The water, the docked boats, the faded skyline.........the world seems to stop here.
Life, is beautiful!!

The beautiful wooden houses, endless skies, leafless trees and the starry nights!!!
God, I am a utter romantic fool.
The bay, the pine trees standing tall and the people!!
And the smiles on their faces!!
Fathers with daughters, mothers with kids, and ahhh, the spark between the lovers...

These have filled my heart,
tickled my senses and
stirred my soul.

Can life get any more beautiful????

Birthday Blues!!

2007-12-17T03:15:00.000+05:30

Yet another concept from my dictionary!!

BirthDay Blues: Pronunciation: /Birth-day-bbbluuuueeees/

[Adjective]
The feeling of total emptiness and a state of absolute "?" (I could not find a word, which could describe it better), the cause of which is determined to be the completion of another year of questionable outcome on this planet.

The voice inside saying......."It is coming, it is coming....OMG...God, can we skip a day, puhhhlease...And people, please dont remind me that I am a year older and I have a year less before my mom gears up to start looking for guys to marry me off. And also that I am no where near where I want to be. Please find me a burrow, so that I can hide or better yet send me to north pole, so that I can hibernate...and not listen to all my relatives dont talk about my prospects"
--------------------------------------------------
[Origin: 1985–07; My twisted brain, which cant enjoy a birthday]

My quarter life crisis!!!!!!

2007-12-11T12:22:00.000+05:30

And I must have grown up faster,that my quarter life crisis, started in the first of my twenties!!!!

And I hope there is a gap, between this and the mid-life crisis. I am certainly looking forward to it......Heehe!!

Being Twenty Something

2007-12-11T12:12:00.000+05:30

I am shamelessly copying [including the title] and pasting an article written by someone, I am certain "normal", and which a friend has sent across. But, it soooooooooo needs to be in this space, without me poking it....

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with
the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder
where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely
know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that,maybe, those friends
that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you
have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most
important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't
really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as u

You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought you
would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you
are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

You miss the comforts of college...of groups, of socializing with the same
people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so
great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want
and don't want in life.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find
yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your
list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry
with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and
confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past
with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move
forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such
damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent
enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but
love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because
you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with
your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a
decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself.....and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just
like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can
to figure this whole thing out.

Maybe this will help someone(LIKE ME) feel like they aren't alone in their state of
confusion.........

Cruising along!

2007-12-05T22:51:00.001+05:30

The other day, a cousin of mine has gone on a adventurous road trip, no one in the family knowing......Excerpts from it...
The complete picture
.
On penna bridge

Just one word suffices my reaction "JEALOUS".......Absolutely!!!!!!
Could not be happier to see someone actually living their life....in its true spirit!!!!

The feeling of being unbrindled, unattatched......and just being free........
With the sky on top of you and road ahead of you
And nothing to stop you.....
Just moving towards the destination,
Savoring every moment of it...
With the destination not as the end, but the means,
Just as a means to "LIVE"!!!

God, could life get any better!!!!